Musings · Uncategorized

The In Between Place

I’m stuck in the in between spot. Everything in my life, or at least most everything, is sort of up in the air. I don’t particularly like my job, and I’m working on a different career path but it won’t move anywhere until at least February, maybe afterwards.

My family’s adoption process is starting but I’m still waiting for finances to clear to make the appointment with the lawyer. I already had the physical needed, got the letters needed, and now I have to wait to make an appointment.

My writing…well I don’t even know what’s going on with that. I can’t seem to get the motivation/excitement to write but I still want to write. So, I’m stuck with that too.

I am not good at being in the in between spot. I’m quickly learning that I’m not a patient person and if something isn’t going on, if I’m not moving forward, I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything. And I get anxious, and depressed. I hate feeling like I’m not accomplishing anything.

It’s been like this for a while but every time I feel like I’m moving forward, for some reason it fizzles out. Or I get so overwhelmed with everything I think I “need” to do that I kind of short out and stop doing everything all together.

I don’t know how to let anything just work out on their own. I don’t know how to wait and see what happens. I think I keep getting in these in between spots because I’m so determined to try to control everything. That, and I hate the unknown. I hate it so, so much.

Usually I get all grouchy when I’m in the in between spot. But this time I’m trying to take it in stride. Every time I worry about getting things done and moving forward, I’m forgetting to enjoy what’s right in front of me now. Even if what’s in front of me isn’t exactly what I want right now.

I don’t want to miss out of things just because I’m worrying about what may or may not happen right away.

So I’m going to try to enjoy the in between space while I have it. Maybe I’ll even find something even more interesting in there! Maybe…

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